Metalstory

**Gamma-Ray** · 03.05.05, 21:02

This is the situation....there's a beautiful princess trapped in a
castle watched by a dragon......here's the end of the story with
different styles of metalheads as knights.....

POWER METAL:

the protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL:

the protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f**ks
her......... easy, isn't it?

HEAVY METAL:

the protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and f**ks the princess

FOLK METAL:

the protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because
of all the dancing)...then all leave....without the princess

VIKING METAL:

the protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe,
skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her
belongings and burns the castle before leaving

DEATH METAL:

the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**ks the princess and kills
her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:

the protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in
front of the castle.....then sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in
a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the princess next to the
dragon

GORE METAL:

the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front
of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks the
dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts.....then he f**ks
the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it for the
last time

DOOM METAL:

the protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could
never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon
eats his body and the princess as dessert...that's the end of the sad story

PROGRESIVE METAL:

the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....the protagonist
arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the
technics and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory...the
princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:

the protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearence and
let him enter.....he steals the princess make-up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink color

**t_matze** · 04.05.05, 00:06

...und das ist jetzt lustig?

**Supernature** · 04.05.05, 09:13

Wenn man sich ein wenig in der Metal-Szene auskennt und weiss, wie die oben genannten Gruppierungen in Szene setzen und untereinander verfeindet sind, dann ja

. Allerdings ist es bei mir schon zu lange her, geschmunzelt habe ich an der einen oder anderen Stelle aber trotzdem.